Updates

It's time for an Adoption update:

•  As most of you know we were not chosen for the birth mom that I wrote about in my last post. We thought the meeting went well, and we felt we connected with her. Unfortunately we didn't connect enough. While we were told she really liked us, but she chose the other family. When I asked the social worker why, the social worker said she just couldn't get over the fact that we homeschool. We were both very frustrated and didn't understand why it mattered how we school our children. We really didn't understand because the birth mom wanted no contact with the child once the adoption happened. We don't know God's plan. He already knows what will happen with this child and the family. He knows whether the BM will actually parent or if she will allow this child to be adopted.

• This has allowed us to look at our profile books and see what needs changed. We took out that we homeschool, added some adoption photos to the book and wrote our own letter the our future child. We are hoping this helps, although the BM's don't see our books until after they see our profiles and they want more information about us. 

• We are also working with the agency to find out if there is anything else that needs changed or worded different. They are telling us that everything looks good.  I still feel that there is something that needs to be done, just don't know what that is. 

• We have since submitted to more BM's, but our agency is slow again, they don't have many Ohio girls at this time. They have had a lot more out of state BM's lately and we are not able to do that at this time. 

• I have begun searching adoption grants again. I am looking into applying for more to see if we can get anymore financial help. Our agency has told us that if we can apply to out of state situations then we could be matched quicker. Of course all of this depends on what the BM wants and if she likes us. While the quicker match is very enticing, the price tag of $30,000-$40,000+ just doesn't fit into our budget. If we can receive more grant money than it might be more possible. I feel that God has called us to adopt, but I don't feel he has called us to take an entire years salary to pay for the adoption. I know that God can provide all the funds needed for the adoption he will give us. We would love to do this without any debt, but we also know that will be almost impossible to do without grants. 

• I never thought I would still be waiting for a child 2.5 years after we started our home study.  I didn't want 6+ years in between my 2 kids. I didn't want T to still be an only child. Yes, there is a lot of "I didn't" in those dreams. While I didn't, God did. God knew we would still be waiting, God knew we would be frustrated, God knew everything and he knows what next year will bring. God knew we would be shown to over 40 BM's, have interviews with 2, and still be waiting. God knew all of this! I forget often that God knew all of this would happen. Sometimes I try to do things on my own and then I am reminding by friends/family that God is in ultimate control and he already knows.

We are still praying, waiting, and struggling through all of this. T asks every time he hears us talking about a new BM "will this one give us her baby?" It is hard to explain it to him, it is hard for him to understand why he doesn't have a sibling. My heart breaks when I see him down or talking about having someone else to play with at home. We do what we can to get him with friends to play, but it isn't the same. While I know they will fight, I look forward to the relationship they will have. 

We covet your prayers, kind works, and love. We are becoming impatient at times and frustrated at other times. If you ask how the journey is going & we say, it's going. Understand that is our answer, because there isn't much to report about the journey.