Adoption Match Process
I have decided to explain this entire process for those of you who may not know or have always wondered what goes into getting matched and being chosen for a child.
How does the process start? Once we had our home study & classes done then paid the initial agency fees we were considered ready to be shown to birth moms. We created an online profile that is on our agency's website. Then we created a profile book.
How do you know about birth moms? We then wait for our agency to send out profiles for possible opportunities. When we get a profile on a girl who is planning to do an adoption plan for the child she is carrying we look over it and chose if we want our online profile to be shown to her. In the information on the girl we get her medical history, if she has done any drugs or alcohol while pregnant, when she is due and what the gender is if it is known. Most of them are usually unknown genders. We are told if the birth father is in the picture and how he feels about the adoption plan. We then are given any of her criteria ie..she wants a family with no children, an active family, a church going family, a family with a dog, ect. She can pick any criteria she wants. We are sent every situation whether we qualify or not. As long as it is an Ohio girl we will usually submit for it, unless it states that she won't even consider families with children. Our agency allows us to submit to as many situations as we want at the same time.
What happens after you submit to the situations? After we submit, we wait. If a girls wants to meet us we will get a call from our agency. If they choose to meet with other families, we won't hear anything until our agency sends out a mass update email and lets everyone know if the BM's have chosen to meet with families or have been matched. Once that email has been sent out and we were not contacted about a meeting, we wait..again. We wait for them to send out another opportunity. There is not set time between situation emails, it is just when BM's are ready to see profiles. We have gone a couple hours to a few weeks in between those emails.
How many families are shown to a BM? Our agency likes to show at least 5 with 20 being about average. It all depends on how many families want to be shown to the BM.
What happens when you get a call that a BM wants to meet? If we get a call, the agency will tell us which BM wants to meet us, location, day, and time of meeting. This is when the BM gets to see our profile book. The book shows more of who we are and what we do with T and our families. Once we are at the meeting, the BM can ask us any question she wants. Usually they are how do you spend time with each other & your family, our discipline options, schools, traditions we have, jobs, vacations, how we would raise the child, sometimes they ask if we have names we like, and even how we met each other. They can really ask anything they want. This is also where we would talk about openness and what they expect before, during, & after the birth of the child.
How many families does a BM meet? From what I understand they can meet as little as 1 family or as many as 10.
How long do you wait before you know if she wants to be matched with you? This can all depends how many families she meets with. I have heard of the agency calling the same day as the meeting while others have been a week before they have made the decision.
Once matched what happens next? We get a call that says we wants to be matched with us. So then with our agency this is when the remainder fee balance is due, usually around $17,000. We begin to work with an attorney, keep in contact with the BM, attend doctors visits (if she requests it), and wait until the due date.
What happens when you get the call that she chose another family? We grieve the loss, then we go back to the beginning of submitting for opportunities.
If I missed anything or you have other questions please comment below.
How does the process start? Once we had our home study & classes done then paid the initial agency fees we were considered ready to be shown to birth moms. We created an online profile that is on our agency's website. Then we created a profile book.
How do you know about birth moms? We then wait for our agency to send out profiles for possible opportunities. When we get a profile on a girl who is planning to do an adoption plan for the child she is carrying we look over it and chose if we want our online profile to be shown to her. In the information on the girl we get her medical history, if she has done any drugs or alcohol while pregnant, when she is due and what the gender is if it is known. Most of them are usually unknown genders. We are told if the birth father is in the picture and how he feels about the adoption plan. We then are given any of her criteria ie..she wants a family with no children, an active family, a church going family, a family with a dog, ect. She can pick any criteria she wants. We are sent every situation whether we qualify or not. As long as it is an Ohio girl we will usually submit for it, unless it states that she won't even consider families with children. Our agency allows us to submit to as many situations as we want at the same time.
What happens after you submit to the situations? After we submit, we wait. If a girls wants to meet us we will get a call from our agency. If they choose to meet with other families, we won't hear anything until our agency sends out a mass update email and lets everyone know if the BM's have chosen to meet with families or have been matched. Once that email has been sent out and we were not contacted about a meeting, we wait..again. We wait for them to send out another opportunity. There is not set time between situation emails, it is just when BM's are ready to see profiles. We have gone a couple hours to a few weeks in between those emails.
How many families are shown to a BM? Our agency likes to show at least 5 with 20 being about average. It all depends on how many families want to be shown to the BM.
What happens when you get a call that a BM wants to meet? If we get a call, the agency will tell us which BM wants to meet us, location, day, and time of meeting. This is when the BM gets to see our profile book. The book shows more of who we are and what we do with T and our families. Once we are at the meeting, the BM can ask us any question she wants. Usually they are how do you spend time with each other & your family, our discipline options, schools, traditions we have, jobs, vacations, how we would raise the child, sometimes they ask if we have names we like, and even how we met each other. They can really ask anything they want. This is also where we would talk about openness and what they expect before, during, & after the birth of the child.
How many families does a BM meet? From what I understand they can meet as little as 1 family or as many as 10.
How long do you wait before you know if she wants to be matched with you? This can all depends how many families she meets with. I have heard of the agency calling the same day as the meeting while others have been a week before they have made the decision.
Once matched what happens next? We get a call that says we wants to be matched with us. So then with our agency this is when the remainder fee balance is due, usually around $17,000. We begin to work with an attorney, keep in contact with the BM, attend doctors visits (if she requests it), and wait until the due date.
What happens when you get the call that she chose another family? We grieve the loss, then we go back to the beginning of submitting for opportunities.
If I missed anything or you have other questions please comment below.
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