Learning to Wait....Patiently
Eight months ago I was so focused on a little boy who stole my heart, his big brown eyes, perfect skin tone, teeny tiny fingers & toes. All these things belonged to a little boy who was in the Cardiac ICU. He was so little, his heart beat so fast, he was using oxygen to help him breath, it didn't seem like he was even mine it happened so fast. A little boy who I fell in love with as soon as I saw him, but yet still seemed like a stranger. I was scared to hold him, scared to cuddle, so many wires and monitors. It was hard to see and watch. I knew God had a plan, I knew God was in control, and I knew God created this little boy for His glory and placed him in our family for a specific reason.
Our eight week stay wasn't long by any means and as I think back to that time I feel like it went fast, but I remember how slow that time went. I couldn't wait to take this boy to his new home. I remember being so frustrated when things didn't work out just as I had hoped and we were in the hospital an extra week. I lost it, cried constantly for about 2 days. I just wanted to go home, sleep in my own bed, have my family together, quit driving the 40 minutes to & from the hospital every day, and take this baby boy to where I could care for him. Deep in my heart I knew the doctors were doing the best they could, even when my questions didn't get answered. J made me go home with him for the weekend. We left on Wednesday night, I was so thankful for grandparents who were willing to stay wth our guy while I went home.
Finally we got the thumbs up to bring him home, it was Friday, we were told when we first got to the hospital that C's heart team wouldn't let us leave on a Friday. God showed his power again! Not that I needed it, but I can always be reminded of it. We quickly drove to the hospital to bring him home. We were the happiest family in the world. T was so excited to have his little brother at home, our family was together.
These 8 months have gone by fast, although the days have gone slow. We have waited for this day for a long time. We waited 2.5 years before God blessed us with another son, we waited 7 years since our last son was born, we waited to hear back from multiple birth moms, we waited. Waiting has never been an easy thing for me. God has used waiting to mold me to be more like him. I'm nowhere near where I should be, maybe that is why we waited again. Waited 8 months to officially make that baby boy ours. Now he has our last name, now we are his parents on his birth certificate, now the courts see us as his parents.
Does this make his birthparents less important? No, they are part of him, part of who he is. God chose them to be a part of C's story, just like he chose us to be apart of his story. Each piece has a special place. Each piece fits perfectly into God's plan for C.
God doesn't show us his entire plan, I believe that is because we wouldn't be able to handle the whole thing at once. God taught me to learn to wait patiently because he knew waiting would be a part of our lives. We are waiting again, waiting for surgery. C will need 2 more heart surgeries. Two more times of being in the hospital, waiting for surgery to start, waiting for surgery to end, waiting for recovery, waiting.
We had surgery #2 scheduled, we had a date for pre-admission testing, a day for lots of doctor visits and x-rays. That day came and C woke up with a runny nose & congestion. I didnt think much of it because that is normal for him. While doing all his testing they swabbed his nose for virus'. I didn't expect anything because I thought it was just allergies. His swab came back as a virus. This meant they push the surgery back 6 weeks. I was frustrated, I wanted to get surgery over with, but God wanted us to wait.
Why are we waiting again, I don't know. Waiting for October to get here so we can have surgery. Even though we are waiting, I'm so thankful God is providing. C isn't in a place where it's risky to wait, he isn't in pain. C is healthy, happy, and full of energy. He is ornery, silly, and a blast. Most of all he is mine!
Thank you to everyone who has prayed, supported, loved, cried with us, visited with us in the hospital, and have been there for us through all the waiting. God has blessed us with so many amazing friends & family. We love you all!
Our eight week stay wasn't long by any means and as I think back to that time I feel like it went fast, but I remember how slow that time went. I couldn't wait to take this boy to his new home. I remember being so frustrated when things didn't work out just as I had hoped and we were in the hospital an extra week. I lost it, cried constantly for about 2 days. I just wanted to go home, sleep in my own bed, have my family together, quit driving the 40 minutes to & from the hospital every day, and take this baby boy to where I could care for him. Deep in my heart I knew the doctors were doing the best they could, even when my questions didn't get answered. J made me go home with him for the weekend. We left on Wednesday night, I was so thankful for grandparents who were willing to stay wth our guy while I went home.
Finally we got the thumbs up to bring him home, it was Friday, we were told when we first got to the hospital that C's heart team wouldn't let us leave on a Friday. God showed his power again! Not that I needed it, but I can always be reminded of it. We quickly drove to the hospital to bring him home. We were the happiest family in the world. T was so excited to have his little brother at home, our family was together.
These 8 months have gone by fast, although the days have gone slow. We have waited for this day for a long time. We waited 2.5 years before God blessed us with another son, we waited 7 years since our last son was born, we waited to hear back from multiple birth moms, we waited. Waiting has never been an easy thing for me. God has used waiting to mold me to be more like him. I'm nowhere near where I should be, maybe that is why we waited again. Waited 8 months to officially make that baby boy ours. Now he has our last name, now we are his parents on his birth certificate, now the courts see us as his parents.
Does this make his birthparents less important? No, they are part of him, part of who he is. God chose them to be a part of C's story, just like he chose us to be apart of his story. Each piece has a special place. Each piece fits perfectly into God's plan for C.
God doesn't show us his entire plan, I believe that is because we wouldn't be able to handle the whole thing at once. God taught me to learn to wait patiently because he knew waiting would be a part of our lives. We are waiting again, waiting for surgery. C will need 2 more heart surgeries. Two more times of being in the hospital, waiting for surgery to start, waiting for surgery to end, waiting for recovery, waiting.
We had surgery #2 scheduled, we had a date for pre-admission testing, a day for lots of doctor visits and x-rays. That day came and C woke up with a runny nose & congestion. I didnt think much of it because that is normal for him. While doing all his testing they swabbed his nose for virus'. I didn't expect anything because I thought it was just allergies. His swab came back as a virus. This meant they push the surgery back 6 weeks. I was frustrated, I wanted to get surgery over with, but God wanted us to wait.
Why are we waiting again, I don't know. Waiting for October to get here so we can have surgery. Even though we are waiting, I'm so thankful God is providing. C isn't in a place where it's risky to wait, he isn't in pain. C is healthy, happy, and full of energy. He is ornery, silly, and a blast. Most of all he is mine!
Thank you to everyone who has prayed, supported, loved, cried with us, visited with us in the hospital, and have been there for us through all the waiting. God has blessed us with so many amazing friends & family. We love you all!
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