Our Journey Through Life

Waiting and Trusting...those two words have come to be a large part of our lives the last 3 years.  Trusting in Christ is something that has never been easy for us. We want things on our time, not in his perfect timing. Waiting on the Lord isn't easy either, again we want it in our time. The events of the last 3 years have caused us to trust and wait on the Lord in a way that we didn't even know was possible. Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your hearts and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will direct your paths." That verse came to mind so many times during our waiting period on the adoption journey to Calvin. We knew that in His perfect timing our desires would be fulfilled. Not because they were our desires, but because he gave us those desires & we knew they were his desires for us. Our adoption journey was anything but easy, we had so many times where we had to trust & wait. Teaching us to trust &...

Eight months ago I was so focused on a little boy who stole my heart, his big brown eyes, perfect skin tone, teeny tiny fingers & toes. All these things belonged to a little boy who was in the Cardiac ICU. He was so little, his heart beat so fast, he was using oxygen to help him breath, it didn't seem like he was even mine it happened so fast. A little boy who I fell in love with as soon as I saw him, but yet still seemed like a stranger. I was scared to hold him, scared to cuddle, so many wires and monitors. It was hard to see and watch. I knew God had a plan, I knew God was in control, and I knew God created this little boy for His glory and placed him in our family for a specific reason. Our eight week stay wasn't long by any means and as I think back to that time I feel like it went fast, but I remember how slow that time went. I couldn't wait to take this boy to his new home. I remember being so frustrated when things didn't work out just as I had hoped and w...

I haven't kept this blog up as much as I was hoping while we are in the ICU. It has been pretty uneventful. Calvin has been stable and progressing well. We are still in ICU and hopefully by next week will be out of here. Calvin went into surgery for a PA band on Monday. This was done to slow the blood flow to the lungs. He has extra going in there due to his heart condition and he needed this surgery to slow everything down. The surgery went well & there were no complications. Which is great and we know it is all because God allowed us to have amazing surgeons. I about cried when the surgeon came into tell us everything went well & there were no complications. I was so joyful for what God has been doing it. God has allowed everything so far to be smooth and easy going for Calvin. Post surgery we got to see him for a little while, but went home early because it had been a long day. I was exhausted. He has done well the last 2 days. By the time I got to the hospital Tuesd...

The last 5 days have been ones that I won't forget. I have loved holding my new son! It still doesn't seem real and I keep thinking I'm in a dream. Everyone in the NICU has been amazing. They are so perfect for their job. Our first visit with him was Monday. As soon as the papers were signed we went in to be with him. We were with him for about 15 minutes before a good friend who works in the hospital came to visit. We all cried because we still didn't believe he was ours. We know we have a long road, but God wouldn't have given us this if he didn't think we were the perfect fit for Calvin. T got to be in the NICU and see his brother. One more thing of God's hands and his perfect timing. They told us that they were going into restricted visitors beginning Saturday. We were so glad T got to meet Calvin. Later on, grandparents came down and couldn't wait to get their hands on them. He loves to be held and cuddled.  We spend about 5 hours with him on Mond...

Last Monday 12/14 we received a call that we were not chosen again for a baby. We were devastated. This was the 3rd time in 2 years. We thought for sure we would be picked this time. Our hearts were heavy, tears were many, and life seemed hard. We cried, cried, and cried tears of sorrow. We didn't want to start over again. We were tired and ready to quit. We didn't understand why God was allowing us to have more suffering. Our son was tired. I cried out to God, wondering when my time would come. I cried out asking if we could just have an easy situation and it be over. We picked up and moved on...continued with our week as normal. As if nothing had happened, as we normally would each day. Then it happened. I was scrolling through Facebook, just randomly looking at different things & noticed someone had posted something new in an adoption group I am in. I clicked over just to check it out.  This person was asking if anyone knew of home study ready families that would be i...

This will be a quick update as I have lots going on with Christmas just around the corner. We have been busy preparing and spending extra time as a family.  I just love Christmas, it is my favorite time of the year and this year I had all my gifts bought before December. Yay, for time to enjoy Christmas! The agency has been slow lately, there hasn't been much of anything going on. Usually there is at least out of state birth moms that they are sending out, but even those have been slow. It has been about a month since we heard any updates or have had any new birth moms.  We got a call last week that a birth mom wants to meet with us! Yay, we are excited. We meet with her tomorrow. This time the agency wants us to bring T. They feel that it could be good for the birth mom to see him. They feel that since we homeschool, seeing how he interacts with others and how we parent him would be beneficial. We are hoping so too! T is very outgoing and told me just today that he i...

I have decided to explain this entire process for those of you who may not know or have always wondered what goes into getting matched and being chosen for a child. How does the process start? Once we had our home study & classes done then paid the initial agency fees we were considered ready to be shown to birth moms. We created an online profile that is on our agency's website. Then we created a profile book. How do you know about birth moms?   We then wait for our agency to send out profiles for possible opportunities. When we get a profile on a girl who is planning to do an adoption plan for the child she is carrying we look over it and chose if we want our online profile to be shown to her. In the information on the girl we get her medical history, if she has done any drugs or alcohol while pregnant, when she is due and what the gender is if it is known. Most of them are usually unknown genders. We are told if the birth father is in the picture and how he feels about ...